the paradox of perfectionism

and the irony of it all is that we all just want to be loved- so we pretend to be perfect, but we only ever truly feel loved when we're seen as imperfect .

hi friends,

today i wanted to speak to you about perfectionism.

i like to describe perfectionism as the disconnect between the mind and the soul. the soul craves authenticity; the mind craves perfection.

Image credit: via Pinterest / original source unknown

in a society where we have been taught that perfection equates to love, happiness, and success, it makes sense that we live in a world full of people who choose perfectionism over happiness (myself included).

choosing perfectionism over happiness can look like:

• constantly living in a state of stress because you need to complete everything to the best of your ability or else it is not good enough.

• only showing people the “desirable” parts of yourself instead of expressing yourself wholeheartedly.

• staying in jobs or relationships because they look good on the outside but do not feel good on the inside.

  
  

now, here are some rather sneaky ways perfectionism can manifest:

• only eating healthy for the purpose of looking a certain way.

• only associating with certain people who fit the “status quo.”

• buying things to fit in instead of buying things that feel like you.

• being a “wellness girl” for the aesthetic rather than choosing things that actually make you feel well.

  
  

for a long time, i lived a life built on my subconscious programming from social media, my friends, my family, and society.

i was brainwashed.

i thought there was a set definition for everything in life, and i was determined to fit the mold.

i thought “healthy” meant green juices and vegetables,

so every day i forced myself to eat foods i did not enjoy

as a means of looking a certain way,

instead of eating foods that brought me joy.

i bought clothes solely to be perceived a certain way,

instead of buying clothes that expressed who i really am.

i worked extremely hard on things i did not even care about

just to fulfill expectations.

my life slowly became a compilation of decisions rooted in external validation

instead of who i actually am.

all because i wanted to be perfect —

so i could be loved and accepted,

even if that meant not loving myself.

and the irony in it all is that we all just want to be loved,

so we pretend to be perfect.

but we only truly feel loved

when we are seen as imperfect.

now it’s your turn.

i invite you to take the seat of the observer.

the observer simply observes — without judgment.

if the observer feels tension, they witness it,

they sit with it,

but they do not judge it.

now that you’re here, take a second to reflect on the ways perfectionism might be in control of your life.

are your actions rooted in self-approval or freedom?

if there were no people on this planet, would you still do the things you do?

how would it feel to allow every part of yourself to be seen?

to give yourself the space to start where you are, even if it’s not where you want to be?

what if you let go —

of all the stress,

the expectations,

the need to be loved,

the need to be seen?

what if you lived for the pure joy of being yourself?

what if that was enough?

who would you be.........

how would you feel.........

how would you move........

when we are brave enough to let go of what we think our life should look like

and instead step into the knowing that whatever is happening is perfect,

we open a portal for source to move through us.

this is flow —

our universal birthright.

when we are in alignment with who we truly are,

we naturally make decisions that lead us exactly where we are meant to go.

but first, we must take the risk of being seen as imperfect —

of doing things differently,

of following the heart instead of the head.

this is not just a journey;

it is a new way of being.

once you decide to face all of yourself,

the entire universe begins to shift to match your new frequency.

instead of creating from lack,

you begin creating from wholeness.

depending on where you are in your journey,

i know this idea might feel far-fetched or out of reach.

but every decision rooted in the essence of you

brings you one step closer to freedom.

freedom from the need to fit the mold.

freedom from the imaginary boundaries we so often build our lives around.

this is your invitation.

right here, in this moment,

you can choose to create from love.

to look at all parts of yourself

and make new decisions —

ones that align with how YOU want to feel.

in the beginning, it may seem impossible.

but if you don’t choose now,

it will just be waiting for you later.

you can do this.

the world needs the real you —not the version you think you should be,

but the one that’s already inside of you.

sending you all a big hug,

~liv

ps: this is such a beautiful meditation for getting you out of your head, enjoy!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GiKkM9VywzE&list=RDGiKkM9VywzE&start_radio=1